My dear dear Aku Namsey,
I miss you so much and I hope you know. I hope that you know that you are not forgotten and never will be until I die. There were so many time when you were alive and in good health that I wondered, what I would do if something happened to you. How am I going to live without you and your love. There were many times when even the thought of losing you would bring tears to my eyes. Since you and I were old fashioned Tibetans, I never got the chance to tell you how much I loved you. What you meant to me, to my parents, to my brothers and sister. And the fact that we weren't even blood related but shared so much love makes you even more valuable to me. You came from being (Phayul chikpa- its what we tibetans call who are from the same region or village in tibet) who shared my father and uncles fate in running away from the Chinese a very long time back, to being like a father to my father who was very young at that time, to then being our most beloved uncle who holds a most special place in our hearts. You will be remembered a looooong time. Even though you are not alive today, my kid who is very young to understand any of this, will know you through me. I have no doubt that you are at peace today in death. After all you had a very adventurous and complete life. But we miss you very very much and can never forget you.
You know it really saddened me when you used to say that we will not love you as much when you are old and dripping from your mouth. So I made it a point in my life to prove you wrong. I am very very happy that in your final moments, we were there to take care of you. To wipe away your face when you couldn't, to look after you, to clean your bed when you were too sick to get up and go to the toilet. Everything was sheer joy and I hope that you are happy to be proven wrong. Even though I seem to be busy in our own life with husband and kid and ignorant of how much you worried for me. I knew my dear uncle, I knew just how much you worried for me. Even though you lost the power of speech when you were sick, I heard you, your joy in hearing that we were doing good in our lives. The faint smile on your face when we told you about our daily lives, about how good my husband is and how my kid is growing up, especially when I told you how nice my mother in law is treating me because that was one of your biggest worries. That satisfied nod with a faint smile make me very happy that your worries are a little bit less for me after seeing everything going smooth for after marriage and a kid.
It was very cute of you to sew that diaper for my son from the clothes cut out from the warmest part of your quilt. I still have that today as the most valuable gift from you. Did you know that I felt so special and lucky to have an uncle like you on top of my parents to love and care for us like you did. I eat away my friends and husband's ears, telling them stories about you, how in many many small ways you showed your love. I would go on and on until they got bored by listening to me talk about you.
Today you are not here, but I am pretty sure that you are someplace better and looking upon us. I try to make my life a better one each day as I know that you would have loved that. I talk to you time and again, I kiss your photo whenever I miss you. I love you with all my heart and will love you forever. I miss you my dear Aku Namsey.
I miss you so much and I hope you know. I hope that you know that you are not forgotten and never will be until I die. There were so many time when you were alive and in good health that I wondered, what I would do if something happened to you. How am I going to live without you and your love. There were many times when even the thought of losing you would bring tears to my eyes. Since you and I were old fashioned Tibetans, I never got the chance to tell you how much I loved you. What you meant to me, to my parents, to my brothers and sister. And the fact that we weren't even blood related but shared so much love makes you even more valuable to me. You came from being (Phayul chikpa- its what we tibetans call who are from the same region or village in tibet) who shared my father and uncles fate in running away from the Chinese a very long time back, to being like a father to my father who was very young at that time, to then being our most beloved uncle who holds a most special place in our hearts. You will be remembered a looooong time. Even though you are not alive today, my kid who is very young to understand any of this, will know you through me. I have no doubt that you are at peace today in death. After all you had a very adventurous and complete life. But we miss you very very much and can never forget you.
You know it really saddened me when you used to say that we will not love you as much when you are old and dripping from your mouth. So I made it a point in my life to prove you wrong. I am very very happy that in your final moments, we were there to take care of you. To wipe away your face when you couldn't, to look after you, to clean your bed when you were too sick to get up and go to the toilet. Everything was sheer joy and I hope that you are happy to be proven wrong. Even though I seem to be busy in our own life with husband and kid and ignorant of how much you worried for me. I knew my dear uncle, I knew just how much you worried for me. Even though you lost the power of speech when you were sick, I heard you, your joy in hearing that we were doing good in our lives. The faint smile on your face when we told you about our daily lives, about how good my husband is and how my kid is growing up, especially when I told you how nice my mother in law is treating me because that was one of your biggest worries. That satisfied nod with a faint smile make me very happy that your worries are a little bit less for me after seeing everything going smooth for after marriage and a kid.
It was very cute of you to sew that diaper for my son from the clothes cut out from the warmest part of your quilt. I still have that today as the most valuable gift from you. Did you know that I felt so special and lucky to have an uncle like you on top of my parents to love and care for us like you did. I eat away my friends and husband's ears, telling them stories about you, how in many many small ways you showed your love. I would go on and on until they got bored by listening to me talk about you.
Today you are not here, but I am pretty sure that you are someplace better and looking upon us. I try to make my life a better one each day as I know that you would have loved that. I talk to you time and again, I kiss your photo whenever I miss you. I love you with all my heart and will love you forever. I miss you my dear Aku Namsey.
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